The most functional word

[AugieDonatelli]

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD...

Well, it's shit... That's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shinola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.

There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit,
shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes your breath smells like shit, sometimes everything you touch turns to shit, and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day without a bunch of shit.

But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

I HOPE YOUR SHITTY DAYS ARE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN!!!

Oh, and some days you just can't shit!!

I SHIT YOU NOT!!:p

[Willy]

Not to be a shit head, but you could at least pay tribute to the author of that inciteful shit.

:cool:

[AugieDonatelli]

Not to be a shit head, but you could at least pay tribute to the author of that inciteful shit.

:cool:

Some guy who didn't know shit about signing his name to his shit.

[nwsquid]

Sounds Georgle Carlin-esque to me.

[semper_fi_72]

He forgot one
"My Shit Don't Stink"

[BrianC14]

He forgot one
"My Shit Don't Stink"


"My Shit Doesn't Float"

:cool:

But I'm still laughing at the Augie-provided quote from Tony Gwynn: "F*ck the kids."
:D

[AugieDonatelli]

Sounds Georgle Carlin-esque to me.

George Carlin's was an entirely different routine. My shit is "stuff" and your stuff is "shit" type of shit. And smoking my own shit. That kind of shit.

[AugieDonatelli]

But I'm still laughing at the Augie-provided quote from Tony Gwynn: "F*ck the kids."
:D

I was paraphrasing. What Gwynn actually said was "F*ck the fans." I just made it for kids. You like?:D

[semper_fi_72]

I was paraphrasing. What Gwynn actually said was "F*ck the fans." I just made it for kids. You like?:D

Little League just F*cked the kids with the Junior Umpire rule change for 2010.

[AugieDonatelli]

Little League just F*cked the kids with the Junior Umpire rule change for 2010.

I guess they took me literally.:cool:

[BrianC14]

I guess they took me literally.:cool:


:D

Works for me.

Shit.

[heyblue26]

I guess they took me literally.:cool:

Now they didn't did they: Thats funny

[bobjenkins]

Not to be a shit head, but you could at least pay tribute to the author of that inciteful shit.

:cool:

I doubt anyone knows the real author. The first time I read this, it was reprinted using a mimeograph machine.

There's a similar "article" claiming that F*** is the most versatile word.

And, of course, the two words have been combined in a famous(?) baseball book. (Just to bring this on-topic),

[semper_fi_72]

I doubt anyone knows the real author. The first time I read this, it was reprinted using a mimeograph machine.

I use to the the smell of a mimeograph machine....lol :)

[AugieDonatelli]

I doubt anyone knows the real author. The first time I read this, it was reprinted using a mimeograph machine.

There's a similar "article" claiming that F*** is the most versatile word.

And, of course, the two words have been combined in a famous(?) baseball book. (Just to bring this on-topic),

You must be speaking of Ball Four by Jim Bouton (put that in your f*cking book!:)). Old Joe Schultz was fond of combining those two words (in no particular order) in his colorful tirades to his team. "Pound that Budweiser, boys.":D

[TejasSlim]

You must be speaking of Ball Four by Jim Bouton (put that in your f*cking book!:)). Old Joe Schultz was fond of combining those two words (in no particular order) in his colorful tirades to his team. "Pound that Budweiser, boys.":D

That was in his second book, not the first novel "Ball Four".

The second book centered mainly about his time with the Seattle Pilots for which Joe Schultz was the manager.

[AugieDonatelli]

That was in his second book, not the first novel "Ball Four".

The second book centered mainly about his time with the Seattle Pilots for which Joe Schultz was the manager.

It was in Ball Four. I remember because I was 15 at the time, and would giggle like crazy because Schultz said "Shitf*ck" and "F*ckshit" all the time, and I told my 15 year old girl friend about Schultz, and she thought it was a really lame expression. It was in that book where he played for the Pilots and for the Yankees, talked about Teddy Ballgame and Jim F*cking Bunning's little shit slider, beaver shooting, "greenies," and a variety of other subjects. Bouton's second book, I'm Glad You Didn't Take It Personally, dealt mainly with the backlash from managers, players and other team personnel over Bouton's comments in the first book.

[cajunyankee]

Tejas,

Ya loser. Can you do anything on here but disagree with Augie?

Get lost ya big dope.

[ump_24]

Tejas,

Ya loser. Can you do anything on here but disagree with Augie?

Get lost ya big dope.

Cajun,

I believe the appropriate term here would be "hoser"

Still, I second your motion. Get lost, ya friggen hoser!

[minn_ump]

From "Monty Python"

Edited for those who need it.

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word f**k. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...f**k is the only word refered to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. F**k, as most words in the english language is derived from german ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.
In english, f**k falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for intance ...John f**ked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb...Shirley f**ks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the f**king work.
As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too f**king much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is f**king beautiful.
As a noun ...I don't give a f**k.
As part of a word ...absof**kinglutely -or- inf**kingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence ...F**k the f**king f**kers.

[cajunyankee]

That's some funny shit right there.