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View Full Version : What's the best heckle you've ever heard?


05-15-2007, 03:53 PM
I don't have rabbit ears or eagle eyes for who/what's in the stands, BUT, I had to continue the dead ball situation in order to digest this one:

Top of the 7th..visitors down 4 -1. Normally this teams fans get riled and upset anytime they fall behind, but tonight they had remained remarkably calm and respectful the entire game...

Batter is a heavyset kid, count 2 -2- 1 out, so when the pitch came waaay inside, he turned and presented a big target for it.. He swung at the pitch as it proceeded to strike him in the chest. It then dropped and made a slight "ting" sound with the bat....

I ring him for "Strike 3, batters out, dead ball!"

Well half of the visitor's fans are yelling, "it hit him! it hit him! he gets to take his base"! while the other half are yelling "foul Ball, it hit the bat!"

The coach comes down to argue it hit the bat and foul ball. That gets his fans even more stirred up..

So as I finish explaining the call to him, he still makes a feeble attempt at protesting but starts back towards the coaching box..

I step around and sweep the plate as the fans still are blahblah'ing.....Suddenly I hear one guy yell out:

" Hey blue! Why don't you buy a frickin' VCR if you're in such a hurry to go home! What? Are you missing American Idol??"

I ignored the comment with the exception of thinking to myself, "Nope, I don't even watch that stupid ass show, worst show on TV..."

Just then another clown yells out in his best attempt at a female voice and says, " Ohhhh honey!! I'm soo hot!! You better hurry home and we'll watch it together and then I'll let you judge me!" as the stands howled in laughter.

I put my HSM back on just then to suppress and hide my attempt at laughing at that one...

Radwaste50
05-15-2007, 05:54 PM
After calling a strike on a slider breaking outside but that still caught the plate. From the stands.........

Blue your zone is wider than my wifes ass

worked hard not to laugh and harder not to look in case I had to agree

ShoNuff
05-15-2007, 07:15 PM
I'm PU and the pitching is terrible. Three batters in a row are walked to load the bases when a cell phone rings in the stands. Someone yells: Hey blue, the rules committee is on the line and wants you to know that if the batter doesn't swing, the pitch can still be called a strike. Next pitch was in the dirt. I was tempted to call it a strike but the voices in my head convince me not to do it.

ExCop
05-29-2007, 04:31 PM
"Give yer seein eye dog a kick, Blue; He missed that last strike!"

rcaverly
05-29-2007, 10:04 PM
Trying to get the game started again after a long delay on a controversial call, the UIC is sweeping off the plate and someone, not me, yells, “Turn it over, Dummy, the instructions are on the other side!”

ExCop
05-30-2007, 01:55 PM
(Sitch: pre-game plate meeting had gone badly due to home manager not being able to "find" the money (initially) and balking at the new season's higher rates for umpires - $65 for the plate, $55 for the bases).

Spectator: Come on Blue, ask for help on that one from your partner in the field!

Other Spectator: He can't - he only makes $55, remember?

lmsans
05-30-2007, 05:55 PM
I was working a JV game solo and having a particularly rough time. I acknowledge I blew a run down call in the first inning. All the others I was right on, but the fans of the visiting team didn't think so.

After I didn't call a foul ball on a dribbler in front of the plate, I hear from the stands:

"Hey Blue, take your good eye out and clean it"

MPDude8
06-03-2007, 05:34 PM
"If you had one more eye, you'd be a cyclops!" :?:

JBowling
06-04-2007, 03:34 PM
Hey Blue, is this your cell phone? It says you've missed four calls.

MPDude8
06-04-2007, 04:16 PM
Coach: "Hey blue you need to...uh...um...look over the rules again!"

Player: "Good one."

06-05-2007, 04:44 PM
Of all the serious heckles I have gotten or have overheard others get in my time, the very one that actually grinds my last nerve is when some rocket scientist yells out, " You're taking it outta the hands of the kids!", or "taking it away from the kids!", or let the kids decide it!" ect...

I had planned my comeback and just awaited the best possible opportunity to execute it-- that being with folks ya know who are, nonetheless, on your keister...

BR game last Thursday....Game ends, score 9 - 8 on a leadoff double and two straight passed balls...

The fans on the team that eventually lost had been on me since the second inning when I called a dead ball swinging strike that popped the batter in the chest...

It was on after that....

After the game was over, we went to the concession stand to pick up our meager allowance and some guy whom I did not actually know but had been associated with the fans on the team that I did know came up to me and starts yapping about the swinging strike call...and the balls and strikes.. and then Jr getting thrown out at the plate by ten feet (of course I missed the call :roll: )ect ect ect...

And then: " You took the game from the kids! You need to let the kids decide the ballgame!"

I had said nothing as I slowly was having to funnel to the gate intermingled with the fans...

But he had rubbed my nerve and I said to him as friendly as possible: "Ya know sir, you're absoutely right!1 I SHOULD have just let the kids play it and see who wins..But I just couldn't.. I tried everything I could to cheat for your team but it just didn't work! I did everything possible for your team but that other bunch wouldn't stand for it, so they just cleaned their clock no matter what I did for your team..!"

He just stopped with the dumbest deer in the headlights look I have ever seen as the fans around us just started cackling! :lol:

I glanced at him again as I gestured for him to please, go first out of the gate in front me...He looked like a whipped puppy dog with absolutely nothing else to say...

06-06-2007, 04:06 AM
After calling a strike on a slider breaking outside but that still caught the plate. From the stands.........

Blue your zone is wider than my wifes ass

worked hard not to laugh and harder not to look in case I had to agree

I'd say if an ambulance didn't show up a few minutes later that Miz-riz Wide Load must NOT have been present for the festivities! :lol:

mississippiump
06-06-2007, 01:54 PM
I don't know if this actually qualifies as a "heckle", but it's funny and it made me laugh. I was doing a low level game last night. I was the PU and in this league you have to have a rather large strike zone. The pitcher threw 3 straight balls then cam back a threw 3 strikes to retire the batter. The kid never got the bat off of his shoulder. With 3-2 count, the pitch is delivered and before I had time to call it the batter was already walking to the dugout obviously disgusted at himself. His dad started yelling at me about how there was no way that pitch was a strike. Here's the funny part, the kid who just struck out looking says, "it was a strike dad, leave the umpire alone!!!!" I had to keep my mask on to hide the laughter.

Jerry

shickenbottom
06-06-2007, 03:30 PM
Althogh I've never heard this one in a game, it has come up in a couple of discussions as being heard during other games.

"Hey Blue, Get off you knees, you're blowing a really good game."

mississippiump
06-06-2007, 05:05 PM
I have a buddy who has a buddy who is the Jacksonville State head baseball coach (Alabama). He used to coach at Mississippi State and this story was relayed to me second hand. Miss. State was in an NCAA Regional or Super-Regional vs. Notre Dame. This guy, Jim, was coaching 3B and there was R1 with two outs. Steal attempt at 2B, U3 was in C position and punched the runner out on a close call. U3 is walking back to his position in LF while the players are running off, Jim stays in the 3B coaching box and as U3 walks by Jim says, "let me ask you a question, are you Catholic?"

U3 says, "yes, as a matter of fact I am Catholic"

Jim responds, "now see, that's what really pisses me off!!" then he just turned and headed back to the dugout!!!

U3 just kinda stood there, then walked into LF.

I thought this was just kind of a funny story, of course it's told from a RATS perspective but it's still funny.

Jerry

Pat
06-13-2007, 01:59 AM
I was BU and some third base coach had been arguing balls and strikes for a couple innings. The Coach finally has the audacity to say "ump you sure that was a ball? It sure looked like a strike from here." The PU then responded: "well, coach. Thats why I don't stand where you are"

MGL
07-10-2007, 09:42 AM
I was PU and Mr. Obnoxious (rooting for the visitors) was letting me have it. He was clearly agitating the players from both teams at various times of the game by his derisive comments about my strike zone. Ironically, I was completely amused.

About the 5th inning, I call a "ball" early in the count and we all hear from Mr. O about how blind I am. Suddenly the visiting catcher stands up and shouts back, "It was a foot and a half inside, Blue is doing a good job, give him a break".

Not another word. Ha!

shickenbottom
07-10-2007, 02:19 PM
Here's one:

"Hey Blue, If I knew we were playing Augusta National, I would have had the kids bring their clubs."

Dean
07-10-2007, 04:21 PM
"Give yer seein eye dog a kick, Blue; He missed that last strike!"

We just got a German Shepard pup - well she is about 6 months old now and quite large....I plan on taking her to the park one day with dark sun glasses and the special leash that the vison impared use. :lol:

lbdm44
08-12-2007, 10:14 PM
about the seein eye dog,

these couple umpirs at cooperstown do a bit were they accually take a dog out onto the feild and the BU gives a speach to the coaches on how the do barks once for ball and twice for strike, its quite funny to see the coaches reactions[/quote]

HawgsandDawgs
08-18-2007, 04:37 AM
I was the PU and had one of those "real nice guy coaches" "keep asking hey blue where was that one", it tends to get on my nerves and I usually don't deal with it for long, but he wasn't being a jerk about it at the time. So top of the fourth inning he switched pitchers (his son came in) and right off the bat his voice changed on the "where was it calls", well I had close one on the inside of the plate, called strike and of course the coach yelled "come on blue where was it", I turned toward his pulled off the HSM and said on the corner. The said "come on" then said "catch where was it" the catcher pulled off his mask and said it was on the corner like blue said, now will you shut the hell up so we can play ball. I quickly had to put my mask back on before I started laughing.


and yeah I had to warn the catcher about his language

bestaround
02-25-2008, 07:58 PM
hey ump, the rules aren't suggestions!

widac
02-26-2008, 02:29 PM
hey ump, the rules aren't suggestions!

sorry for the grammer nitpickery, but please change your sig and use the word "you're" instead of "your"

jomatiky
03-22-2008, 03:55 PM
Doing a recreation game the first baseman had to weigh 300 lbs. After missing 3 or 4 throws from the infield a fan in the stands yells out "if it was a cheeseburgher you would have caught it". Thanks God I had the mask on.

03-30-2008, 02:50 AM
I had a partner tell me while we were traveling to a game about one year he was behind the plate and had a banger in a close game...

As he was dusting the plate off he hears some clown in the stands yell:

" Hey ump, did you just sh*t in your pants, cause you sure stink with that call!" :lol:

Wags
05-12-2008, 07:57 AM
Over 35's game in the local league where most of the players are over 45 and play friday nights for a few laughs and a couple of beers afterwards.

7 teams in the comp so each week the team not playing take turns to umpire. Very social and an easy strike zone.

One guy that doesn't play comes each week and sets up his seat behind the ump near the dugout. usual stuff..."seen better pitchers on a wall ump...."
" seen better batter on a piece of fish....".

Anyway half way through the innings one of the umps after another call from behind the fence, ump calls time. moves over to the fence, turns to face the pitcher and calls "play". The guy on the outside says "what are you doing ump, you can't call it from here" Ump replies, "well you have obviously got the best view from here so I thought I'd give it a try."

Not another word for about 5 minutes......

murphump47
05-14-2008, 05:04 PM
With apologies to my colleage who said it...

Blue is this your cellphone - it says you have 4 missed calls!

All with your wifes number on it? Yep, must be, thanks.

ExCop
05-15-2008, 04:24 PM
With apologies to my colleage who said it...

Blue is this your cellphone - it says you have 4 missed calls!

All with your wifes number on it? Yep, must be, thanks.

Or you could try "It's just Jenny Craig...they want to talk about your wife's refund."

JBowling
06-06-2008, 03:28 PM
Hey ump, your A$$ called, it says it wants your head out by tomorrow.

JBowling
06-18-2008, 03:00 PM
Here is one that a coach told me he used on his team in reference to a pitcher that didn't throw very hard.

"Guys, I don't know why we're not jumping all over this pitcher, he couldn't get a speeding ticket in a school zone."

wvumpire1807
12-10-2008, 09:33 PM
Come on blue pull down your pants and look with your good eye!!!

CoachJM
12-12-2008, 11:01 PM
Hey Blue!

You the same guy who made the call on Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?!?!

JM

71ump
12-18-2008, 01:24 PM
on a third stirke call the guy turns around & says we work all day long. for the love of pete I couldnt understand what he meant by that, outside of the fact he didnt like strike 2 or 3. oh well.

carolinablue
12-18-2008, 06:34 PM
" Don't look at your partner blue, Ben Bernanke couldn't bail you out on that call."

heyblue26
12-18-2008, 11:53 PM
I heard this one from a fellow umpire as he showed up to the park and was going thru the gate to park his car the attendent said to him did you bring you're other set of eyes today blue?.

Umpires: Reply yes there in the trunk

kylejt
12-19-2008, 11:25 PM
"Flip the plate over and read the directions" is still my favorite.

My favorite comeback is when a manager asks me where my strikezone is. I'll start patting down all my pockets, walk away, and mutter "Damn, I knew I forgot something".

carolinablue
12-20-2008, 01:09 AM
"Flip the plate over and read the directions" is still my favorite.

My favorite comeback is when a manager asks me where my strikezone is. I'll start patting down all my pockets, walk away, and mutter "Damn, I knew I forgot something".


That's pretty good. I also like " You got seven innings to find it coach. "

BT_Blue
12-20-2008, 04:18 AM
one of my favorite things to do when I used to umpire grown babies ball was when they would start yelling that the pitcher was balking I would ask "ok, what'd he do?"

This was 99.9% of the time answered with complete silence.

eagle_12
12-20-2008, 01:13 PM
Not heard and not baseball, but pretty dang funny if I say so

BT_Blue
12-20-2008, 06:52 PM
Ok, now thats funny!

kcbearcat
12-23-2008, 03:11 AM
During a hs game in Michigan a few years ago... I'd just enforced the force play slide rule and called the double play because R1 had dumped the shortstop... From behind me where the home team fans are sitting (and I'd just made this call against them), I hear, "You belong in the major leagues!"

Didn't say anything, but I thought to myself... "Thanks... idiot." :D

ref93
12-23-2008, 04:59 PM
I was PU for a 21U AAA game. One pitcher could not seem to find the zone. For 3 innings all I heard every time I called ball 4 was "hey Kev, blink". As a Supervisor, I am known by name all over this league. Finally, as the manager realized that keeping this kid in was futile, he decided to make a pitching change. As the new pitcher was warming up, I again heard "hey Kev, blink". I turned to see the local baseball know it all sitting there looking right at me. He repeated it once more, so I decided to play along, and blinked. His reply..."Oh thank Goodness. I was worried that your head had been up your A$$ too long and the $H!T had cemented your eyes closed!" As the field erupted in laughter, I proceeded to the gate, walked around the back stop, and shook his hand while laughing out loud!! Sometimes it's fun to be human.

Ozzy
12-23-2008, 05:30 PM
I was PU for a 21U AAA game. One pitcher could not seem to find the zone. For 3 innings all I heard every time I called ball 4 was "hey Kev, blink". As a Supervisor, I am known by name all over this league. Finally, as the manager realized that keeping this kid in was futile, he decided to make a pitching change. As the new pitcher was warming up, I again heard "hey Kev, blink". I turned to see the local baseball know it all sitting there looking right at me. He repeated it once more, so I decided to play along, and blinked. His reply..."Oh thank Goodness. I was worried that your head had been up your A$$ too long and the $H!T had cemented your eyes closed!" As the field erupted in laughter, I proceeded to the gate, walked around the back stop, and shook his hand while laughing out loud!! Sometimes it's fun to be human.
:grin::grin::grin: I think you should have urinated in his lap!

BrianC14
12-23-2008, 06:29 PM
:grin::grin::grin: I think you should have urinated in his lap!

Or at least in his soda pop.

captk
03-01-2010, 07:46 PM
I've always had a personal rule that the less correct I am (as I am never wrong) the longer I give the coach the opportunity to voice their opinion. I was doing a collegiate softball game at Illinois Wesleyan University in Normal,IL. At that time the rule was that once the pitcher received the ball within the 18 foot circle, the runner was required to either return to the previous base or try to advance to the next base.
I observed the runner do a double feint to draw the throw. I pumped her out.
When the coach started to approach me, I told her "Coach, Stay right where you are! Don't even try. She feinted and there's no doubt about it, so don't even try come out here on this field?
The coach answered. "One Question? Are you on your period?"

finnerty
03-07-2010, 05:35 PM
sorry for the grammer nitpickery, but please change your sig and use the word "you're" instead of "your"

Sorry, but that word is spelled G-R-A-M-M-A-R.

Dano
03-09-2010, 03:43 PM
Sorry, but that word is spelled G-R-A-M-M-A-R.



ROFL

Epic!

newblue4co
03-09-2010, 09:46 PM
Burn!!!!

finnerty
03-17-2010, 04:35 PM
This is a heckle, but every now and then, you hear a regular comment. This one was beautiful.

I was doing the dish under the lights last Friday. I have one of those hand warmers in my ball bags. I routinely put one of my hands into one of my ball bags to warm it up between pitches. I hear this lady innocently ask someone, "Why does the umpire keep feeling his ball sack?"

BrianC14
03-17-2010, 05:07 PM
This is a heckle, but every now and then, you hear a regular comment. This one was beautiful.

I was doing the dish under the lights last Friday. I have one of those hand warmers in my ball bags. I routinely put one of my hands into one of my ball bags to warm it up between pitches. I hear this lady innocently ask someone, "Why does the umpire keep feeling his ball sack?"

No way!!!!! Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaa

I'm glad I didn't take a sip of coffee just now.... ROLFMAO

Matt13
03-18-2010, 07:18 PM
I've always had a personal rule that the less correct I am (as I am never wrong) the longer I give the coach the opportunity to voice their opinion.

I would dispense with that rule. If you allow one coach to give you more of an earful on a call that you may have blown, what happens when the opposing coach doesn't get the opportunity to do the same thing on a call you don't think you blew?

heyblue26
03-18-2010, 09:52 PM
I would dispense with that rule. If you allow one coach to give you more of an earful on a call that you may have blown, what happens when the opposing coach doesn't get the opportunity to do the same thing on a call you don't think you blew?

All hell breaks lose

redkoz
03-20-2010, 09:21 AM
Softball game at a catholic church 5 years ago...I was 30-40 pounds overweight...

What the f%^* was that...you can't even see your shoes!

heyblue26
03-20-2010, 02:17 PM
I don't know if this actually qualifies as a "heckle", but it's funny and it made me laugh. I was doing a low level game last night. I was the PU and in this league you have to have a rather large strike zone. The pitcher threw 3 straight balls then cam back a threw 3 strikes to retire the batter. The kid never got the bat off of his shoulder. With 3-2 count, the pitch is delivered and before I had time to call it the batter was already walking to the dugout obviously disgusted at himself. His dad started yelling at me about how there was no way that pitch was a strike. Here's the funny part, the kid who just struck out looking says, "it was a strike dad, leave the umpire alone!!!!" I had to keep my mask on to hide the laughter.

Jerry

Now that is funny. Even the kid knew it was a strike. But his dad must of been watching something else in the stands let alone the game..

scarolinablue
03-24-2010, 06:42 PM
Not really a heckle, just an ignorant comment...and one I had a hard time not responding to...

HS game last week. No issues as we get to the top of the 7th inning. Home team losing by 6 to a team they should have pounded - 7 of the 8 runs they gave up were unearned. Fans a little restless and frustrated, but up to now, no real comments my way.

First kid walks on 5 pitches, a couple of ones I balled were close on either corner, but not THAT close. Ignorant mom in the stands yells "C'mon blue, you must want to get home early and eat dinner!"

It was all I could muster to not turn around and say "If I wanted to go home early, I'd be calling strikes, not balls, you goober!"

finnerty
03-26-2010, 07:12 AM
Not really a heckle, just an ignorant comment...and one I had a hard time not responding to...

Ignorant mom in the stands yells "C'mon blue, you must want to get home early and eat dinner!"

It was all I could muster to not turn around and say "If I wanted to go home early, I'd be calling strikes, not balls, you goober!"

When it comes to umpiring a ballgame, all moms are ignorant.

And then add to that fact that this particular ignomom was also a goober ...

Bluefish
03-26-2010, 03:15 PM
Not really a heckle but....

I'm BU in varsity game. Runner at second. I am set for the next pitch and I hear jawing behind me. I turn around and tell R2 and F4 to knock it off. I turn around and again hear more trash talking. As I issue warning to both players, R2 says to me "it's ok, he cant help it if he wears a tampon."

scarolinablue
03-26-2010, 07:58 PM
When it comes to umpiring a ballgame, all moms are ignorant.

I'm always willing to overlook some mom ignorance depending on the hotness factor of said mom...;)

heykid41
04-25-2010, 03:47 PM
This was directed at a fan who was hollering at a player. The player (local men's league) had been getting screamed at by this woman the whole game. Finally, he was batting late in the game and I suppose had a "Popeye" moment ("I had all I can stands - I can't stands no more!"). He turned and bellowed, "How much DO you charge to haunt a house?"
As I recall - everyone in the park BUT the gal were howling with laughter!

dist4ump
05-07-2010, 03:32 AM
My darling wife was in attendence tonite an camped out behind the backstop.
As I'm brushing the plate she turns to the person next to her and says "He cleans that better than anything at home" Gotta love her...

Dano
05-07-2010, 03:44 PM
BEST one I know of

Close play at the plate. Fine looking lady in the stands did NOT like the outcome.

Yells to the PU


"Blue. Does your wife know you are SCREWING US?"

finnerty
05-12-2010, 03:28 PM
Now THAT'S a heckle.

bigbird69
05-13-2010, 06:52 AM
I have heard that one before... but the one time I did, my partner (PU) replied that she did indeed know, or at least was hoping so, so she would be left alone tonight...


One fan very quiet.... two teams, one umpire and the remaining fans nearly crying with laughter... I still have no idea how my partner said it without cracking a smile.

jbonnot
05-13-2010, 12:47 PM
Major League LL in my hometown. I'm PU and call a strike on a close pitch. Batter's grandpa is behind me. F1 receives the ball from F2 and starts to get set. I hear grandpa "You can't call it a strike yet, blue, he hasn't thrown the ball". I almost busted out laughing.

armgdnman
05-14-2010, 07:57 PM
Wasn't a heckle but a great story. Bear with me, its kinda long but worth it.

This happened over 2 games.

My brother and I are umping an 11U tourney and this was the 3rd game of 6 that day. Tourney rules are either no new inning after 1hr 30min or 6 innings. I'm the PU, lil bro is in the field. Home team is at the plate with 5 minutes left, down by one with a runner on third, 2 out. The runner on third is tagged out on attempt to get home on a dropped 3rd strike. By this time my stop watch read 1hr 32min. I take my mask off and say, "Ballgame!". The first base coach, who has been a pain in my neck all game, starts yelling, "its not over, we still have 2 minutes!". I show him my stop watch and say, "its over sir. No new inning after 1hr 30min". He then shows me his watch and says, "we have 2 minutes by mine". I told him politely, "we arent going by yours.... Ballgame". He keeps yelling as the kids all shake hands.

Day 2. The tourney brackets worked out to where these same two teams played again the next day. Same home team and same visitors. This time, I'm in the field and my lil bro is PU. Home team is down by 3 runs and the timer is at 1hr 22min as the bottom half of the inning is retired and my lil bro yells, "BALLGAME!". Once again, the same first base coach starts hopping around yelling,"there's still 8 minutes left!" and turns to me (as I'm behind first base) and yells, "There's still 8 minutes left!! Can you not read a clock?!?!". That same moment, the visiting team's coach says, "you have 8 minutes left, you're right but that was the end of the 6th inning. Can you not read a scoreboard?" All I could do was smile.

bigbird69
05-14-2010, 11:55 PM
HAHA... the funny part is that I had one of these where the coach is trying to tell me that we have time left.. but no innings left...

The best part is when it is pointed out to them that once the 6th inning is over and not tied, the game is over... timer is not involved in that one.. (LL)...the look on his face was priceless when is sunk in... I think I got a sunburn from his embarassed face.

ump1968
05-24-2010, 03:53 PM
Not a heckle but...

Bottom of first, Visiting pitcher throws 7th consecutive ball

Catcher ( over shoulder, very polite ): " What exactly are you looking for?"

Me: " A strike!?"

Both chuckle. Game went well

charliej47
05-25-2010, 06:41 PM
I'm doing a u13 traveling team and after walking 3 batters and 3 and 2 on the 4th batter, F2 says come on Jimmy HE ain't going to call that outside pitch! I had to call time as the 4th batter was laying on the ground laughing,
I had to wait til he got up and calmed down.

ringm_up
06-10-2010, 07:41 AM
Last night, I was working a 9-10 girls softball game. We had 3 games and I was working with a 1st year umpire, so I took the first and third games PU. In the 2nd game, I was BU. In my town, we have a league that encompasses a few surrounding towns, which sometimes causes controversy. But, last night it was two surrounding towns. One of which, I have never had a problem with at all.

So, we start out the game and the PU has a big zone, which is good for 9-10 softball. Well, some parents did not think this was the best, so they started yelling, from behind 1st base, next to the dugout. Since it was the start of the game and no one was on, I was positioned behind 1st. I defended him and asked the group of parents that was heckling, if they rather be there all night and watch a walk-fest. One of the moms says, "Oh My God, he just smarted off to me!" and then some others called me a punk and a moron, which I thought was pretty funny. Then there was a pitch that was called a strike that hit in the dirt, which is nothing new to this league and that same woman says "Oh that's bullshit!" At this point, I was between 1st and 2nd and I took a few steps her way and yelled "Ma'am, we don't use foul language, these are little kids on the field." Then she said, "Yeah, I know, I'm talking to one(I'm 15)." So I told them that they can go talk to the supervisor if they have a problem with the rules. So the same mom goes and talks to the supervisor and returns, disappointed. After that, I didn't really hear much from them.

Now to where the story gets interesting. After the game, the other ump and I changed gear and I went to the concession stand real quick to get a drink and as I'm walking back, this girl passes me and hands me a piece of paper. It was her number. Turns out that that chick's mom was the main heckler!

soonerblue
05-06-2011, 07:44 PM
#1 HS baseball. Field with no lights.

Game started early enough but after two rain delays the sun was going down. In between innings one of the parents asked the PU at what point would he call the game on darkness.The umpire replied "When we start missing calls". The fan immediately replied with "Well you should have called the game in the second inning!". Crowd erupted and the umpire tipped his hat and smiled.


#2 In between innings I try to grab a drink of water. Fan sitting near where I was drinking asked me how I put up with the fans yelling/commenting all the time. I just looked at him and told him. "I have been married for 20 years, I can ignore anything"

kyle_jt
05-07-2011, 02:24 AM
Flip the plate over and read the directions. Is still my favorite.




heckledepot.com

heyblue26
05-07-2011, 01:36 PM
Come on blue. I always wonder where we are going or what is the question that they are asking. or they always can call them better from the stands.

CMCNJUMP
05-08-2011, 10:30 PM
HC: Your an Asshole!!!!!!!!!

Tim_C
05-12-2011, 06:55 PM
In the 1980's I was working a "ball-a-thon" in Kirkland, WA. The stands behind the plate were VERY close.

After about the 30th straight call of "Ball" a very elderly lady (probably about 85 years old) said: "Mr. Umpire please call some strikes, some of us don't have that much longer to live!"

Brought the house down.

T

Dano
05-13-2011, 03:47 PM
In the 1980's I was working a "ball-a-thon" in Kirkland, WA. The stands behind the plate were VERY close.

After about the 30th straight call of "Ball" a very elderly lady (probably about 85 years old) said: "Mr. Umpire please call some strikes, some of us don't have that much longer to live!"

Brought the house down.

T

CLASSIC!

twolabz2
05-16-2011, 02:33 AM
PU for HS varsity game. Pitch was at least a foot and a half outside, called a ball. Some kid in the stands yells out, "Come on blue, Ray Charles would have called that a strike."

NorCalBallguy
05-18-2011, 07:44 PM
I'm always willing to overlook some mom ignorance depending on the hotness factor of said mom...;)

In our annual LL draft, some kids are what's known as a "Mom pick."

"I'll take Billy Smith."

"Ha! That's a Mom Pick!"

My favorite self-heckle: LL Majors, bottom 6th. One-run game, R2 and R3, 2 outs, full count. Cleanup hitter at the plate. Kid watches a pitch right down the middle. I call strike 3. Kid just stands there, staring at the plate and says,

"I'm so stupid."

I said, "Tommy, I've said that to myself a million times."

llumpjimward
05-27-2011, 04:43 AM
I don't know if this actually qualifies as a "heckle", but it's funny and it made me laugh. I was doing a low level game last night. I was the PU and in this league you have to have a rather large strike zone. The pitcher threw 3 straight balls then cam back a threw 3 strikes to retire the batter. The kid never got the bat off of his shoulder. With 3-2 count, the pitch is delivered and before I had time to call it the batter was already walking to the dugout obviously disgusted at himself. His dad started yelling at me about how there was no way that pitch was a strike. Here's the funny part, the kid who just struck out looking says, "it was a strike dad, leave the umpire alone!!!!" I had to keep my mask on to hide the laughter.

Jerry

That is a classic!

llumpjimward
05-27-2011, 04:43 AM
After calling a strike on a slider breaking outside but that still caught the plate. From the stands.........

Blue your zone is wider than my wifes ass

worked hard not to laugh and harder not to look in case I had to agree


That is probably the best one I have heard in 25 years of umpiring!

jomatiky
06-08-2011, 01:53 PM
Doing the consolation game of a high school tourney I was behind the plate. On the very first pitch of the game, a called "ball" outside I had a parent call from the stands. " Hey blue you gotta call it the same for both teams." The thing that got me was he was on the side of the team that got the call.

grayhawk
06-14-2011, 06:43 PM
My son was playing in a scrimmage last weekend where there were only 10 total players, and a dad calling balls and strikes from behind the mound. Not sure how I got out of doing it, but I was happy since I got to fill in as F8. So this dad was all over the place and after one very outside pitch called a strike, someone from the stands yells:

"Someone must have watered the strike zone, because it's growing!"

iamdabobo
06-14-2011, 09:47 PM
More of a "best response I've had to a heckle:"

10U, by myself. Coach starts whining about runners leaving early. I tell him I can't see strikes/balls and bases at the same time, he shuts up. Then he whines more about close calls of various kinds; I tell him to knock it off. Finally he asks where a ball was, and I say "No clue, skip; I was watching the runners to make sure they didn't leave early." It actually shut him up.

On a rare occasion, sarcasm is a better alternative to ejection :mrgreen:

wayne37
09-05-2011, 05:02 PM
You're killing me, blue! You're animal out there!

Two more pitches later the inning was over.

Walked over to the screen that was real close, and said with a smile on my face.

"Of course, I'm an animal. I'm not a vegetable or mineral".