Small ball umpires take note

[mac]

Hi if you do small Ball games this is for you:


Stand slightly bent foward, grab your knees, and spell Run,


now do it slowly R -U - N

Ha,

[Tunaboat]

grap your knees
That's a good one.. Now spell... grab

[AugieDonatelli]

Hey did ya hear the one about the umpire who thought he was too good to work youth ball games? Once upon a time....

Well, it seems that this umpire (we will call him "Jac" to protect his identity), felt that small diamond games were not really baseball, and unworthy of "real umpires (tm)."

One day, all the umpires that were working Little League, Cal Ripken, Babe Ruth, and other levels and organizations of youth baseball decided that Jac was right, and quit working these games. No umpires could be found in all the world to umpire 8U to 14U baseball. Nobody would volunteer either. They looked high and low, and still could find no one to do the dirty deed of umpiring kiddie ball.

Eventually, everyone took their balls and bats and helmets and gloves and went home.

It was decreed that no baseball could be played until a player reached his 15th birthday, and that he must learn to play the game on a High School baseball team.

This caused all sorts of problems for Jac and his fellow "real umpires (tm)." They harumphed and complained and bitched about these kids that didn't know how to play baseball. They cried and wailed and gnashed their teeth because the pitchers could not throw strikes, as these young men had never pitched before, and had not been taught the proper mechanics. The games had final scores of 25 to 18, or 32 to 23, or worse! Nobody could get anyone out, pitchers walked batter after batter, and when they got a pitch over the plate by accident, the batters would accidently hit it with their bats. Then the fielders would run into each other trying to grab the bouncing ball, and everybody was safe, safe, safe!

Not only the bad playing, but they did not know how to respect the "real umpires (tm)," and argued constantly. There were many ejections for unsportsmanlike conduct, as they were never taught how to properly behave during a game.

Finally, it dawned on them what had happened. All the "real umpires (tm)" who felt as Jac did, finally realized that the games' inner workings had previously been taught by the youth ball umpires, and had prepared these fine young men for higher level baseball. By not having "small diamond" umpires to show the pitchers what a strike looked like, or games in which batters could learn to hit, and not being able to gain any practical game experience, these boys were like lost sheep.

Jac, as well as one of his compatriots, "Gee", and all the others, now realized the importance of the umpires that put up with all these shenagins at a younger age, so that by the time they get to "shaving age" as Gee calls them, they know how to play baseball.

The End.

[whosyourblue]

Do you drool all over yourself when you talk. Take a reality check and see if you are playing with a full deck. This last post souds like the wheels are starting to come off the car. Plese seek some sort mentalk help.sa :roll:

[AugieDonatelli]

Do you drool all over yourself when you talk. Take a reality check and see if you are playing with a full deck. This last post souds like the wheels are starting to come off the car. Plese seek some sort mentalk help.sa :roll:
Hey PWL, the masquerade is over. Mentalk help? What's that? Maybe you should seek some sort of typing help, or proof reading help.

It was a fairy tale, so I guess that's why you are taking it personally.

I actually got quite good feedback by PM and IM, so I know your stupid opinion is in the minority.

Eject anyone yet?

[MNBlue17]

For all of those that can't type, this poem by Taylor Mali is for you.

"Has this ever happened to you? You work very very horde on a paper for English clash and still get a very glow raid on it (like a D or even a D=). And all because you are the liverwurst spoiler in the whale wide word. Yes, Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence. Now, this is a problem that affects manly, manly students all over the word.

I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term that my English torturer in my sophomoric year, Mrs. Myth, she said that I was never going to get into a good colleague. And that’s all I wanted, that’s all any kid wants at that age, just to get into a good colleague. And not just anal community colleague, either, okay? No! Because I’m not the kind of guy wfo would be happy at just anal community colleague. I really need to be challenged, you know, challenged dentally. I need a place that can offer me intellectual simulation. So I know this probably makes me sound like a stereo, but I really felt that I could get into an ivory legal colleague.
So if I did not improvement, then gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison (you know, in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker and figured I was on Sleazy Street. But there are several missed aches that a spell chucker can’t can’t catch catch. For instant, if you accidentally leave out word, your spell chucker won’t put it in you. And God for billing purposes only you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling your spell Chekhov might end up using a word that you had absolutely no detention of using. Because, let’s face it, what do you want it to douche? You know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! It only does what you tell it to douche. You’re the one sitting in front of the computer scream with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit. It just goes to show you how embargo one careless little clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint. The teacher took the paper that I had written on A Sale of Two Titties (No, I’m serial, I’m serial) She read it out loud in front of all of my assmates. And it was quite possibly one of the most humidifying experiences of my in tire life, being laughed at like that. Laughed at pubically.

So I want you to do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing of your own work, no prostitute whatsoever.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

Spank You."

LMAOOO! :lol:

bidet, bidet, bidet- 8) dat's all folks!